Everything passes... Solitude
"I am in the most complete solitude of soul, but it is God's will and God, for me, is only there where His will is found. I do not understand anything any more, I am in chaos. This need to express my soul, my desires, my impressions, even on paper, all this has disappeared. I tend to keep secret my impressions, my tastes and even my sufferings and tears. I want to hide everything in Jesus. All is for Him alone. What a change has come over me! I clearly see that everything passes, changes, is consummated. On the earth, all is shadow, vanity and lies. The real, the true, what is of value, what endures, what is, is in heaven. The earth with all its things, all of them, are but a lever to raise oneself to Him. All is lost in God: loves, sorrows, dreams, expectations, desires, aspirations, and all, all, disappear in Him.
"If I review my past life, if I consult my heart, I discover its affections. They have passed. Its desires, the most ardent ones, have passed. Its vanities and even its faults and disorderly acts, its excessive yearnings for such and such a thing, have passed, definitively passed. I loved my husband most dearly. It has passed. I ardently desired to be a nun, now that is all the same to me: to be or not to be, to die here or there, in a miserable courtyard, or in my house, alone or surrounded by others, loved or abhorred or despised. I have only one desire: that in me the divine will be done" (Diary, Nov. 16, 1917).
Comment by Fr. Jordi Rivero