Tenderness
See more in "Path to Union"

St. Augustine wrote in The City of God, that motherly tenderness can be found even among ferocious animals. "What tigress is there that does not purr over her young ones, and fawn upon them in tenderness?"

Tenderness is the mercy and kindness of God made visible through our bodies, mostly our hands, faces and way of speaking. Tenderness reveals empathy and gentleness, which heal hearts and draw them to the source of tenderness which is God Himself. 

We need to see the harshness and sternness that may be in the way we relate to some persons.

First we need to allow God to love us, to be tender with us. This is very difficult for us because in our woundedness. Our hearts have become hard. 
1- We want to be in control so we are not attentive to God's invitation to enter our heart.
2- We are afraid to open our hearts and be hurt. We might be expected to respond with a kindness that we do not have.
3- Tenderness is often perceived as a weakness. Not practical. 


Pope Francis:
June 07, 2013,
Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart, homily.

Contemplating on the solemnity, the Holy Father said to those present that Christ loved us not only with His words, but with His deeds and his life. The Pope also reflected on the words of St. Ignatius who said that the love of Jesus manifests itself more in deeds than in words and that it is especially more giving than receiving.

These two criteria are like the pillars of true love, Pope Francis said. [The Good Shepherd] knows his sheep by name because His is not an abstract or general love: it is love towards everyone.

"A God who draws near out of love, the Holy Father continued, walks with His people, and this walk comes to an unimaginable point. We could never have imagined that the same Lord would become one of us and walk with us, be present with us, present in His Church, present in the Eucharist, present in His Word, present in the poor, He is present, walking with us. And this is closeness: the shepherd close to his flock, close to his sheep, whom he knows, one by one."

Pope Francis also drew examples of Gods love from the Book of the prophet Ezekiel, which emphasizes caring for the sheep that are lost, wounded and sick. The Holy Father spoke of the tenderness of God to all.

The Lord knows that beautiful science of caresses, the tenderness of God. He does not love us with words. He comes close - closeness - and gives us His love with tenderness. Closeness and tenderness! The Lord loves us in these two ways, He draws near and gives all His love even in the smallest things: with tenderness. And this is a powerful love, because closeness and tenderness reveal the strength of Gods love.

Concluding his homily, Pope Francis called on those present to not only love others the way God love us, but more importantly, to let ourselves be loved by God.

"This may sound like heresy, but it is the greatest truth! It is more difficult to let God love us, than to love Him! the Pope exclaimed.

The best way to love Him in return is to open our hearts and let Him love us. Let Him draw close to us and feel Him close to us. This is really very difficult: letting ourselves be loved by Him. And that is perhaps what we need to ask today in the Mass: 'Lord, I want to love You, but teach me the difficult science, the difficult habit of letting myself be loved by You, to feel You close and feel Your tenderness! May the Lord give us this grace."

Tenderness in Pope Francis' Evangelium Gaudium
First the Pope speaks of God's tenderness towards us, then exhorts us to be tender.

#2. ….With a tenderness which never disappoints, but is always capable of restoring our joy, he [God] makes it possible for us to lift up our heads and to start anew. Let us not flee from the resurrection of Jesus, let us never give up, come what will. May nothing inspire more than his life, which impels us onwards!

#4. God our Father: "My child, treat yourself well, according to your means… Do not deprive yourself of the day’s enjoyment" (Sir 14:11, 14). What tender paternal love echoes in these words!

#88. …The Son of God, by becoming flesh, summoned us to the revolution of tenderness

#270. Sometimes we are tempted to be that kind of Christian who keeps the Lord’s wounds at arm’s length. Yet Jesus wants us to touch human misery, to touch the suffering flesh of others. He hopes that we will stop looking for those personal or communal niches which shelter us from the maelstrom of human misfortune and instead enter into the reality of other people’s lives and know the power of tenderness. Whenever we do so, our lives become wonderfully complicated and we experience intensely what it is to be a people, to be part of a people.

#279. Let us learn to rest in the tenderness of the arms of the Father amid our creative and generous commitment. Let us keep marching forward; let us give him everything, allowing him to make our efforts bear fruit in his good time.

Mary is the model of tenderness:

#288. There is a Marian "style" to the Church’s work of evangelization. Whenever we look to Mary, we come to believe once again in the revolutionary nature of love and tenderness. In her we see that humility and tenderness are not virtues of the weak but of the strong who need not treat others poorly in order to feel important themselves. Contemplating Mary, we realize that she who praised God for "bringing down the mighty from their thrones" and "sending the rich away empty" (Lk 1:52-53) is also the one who brings a homely warmth to our pursuit of justice. She is also the one who carefully keeps "all these things, pondering them in her heart" (Lk 2:19). Mary is able to recognize the traces of God’s Spirit in events great and small. She constantly contemplates the mystery of God in our world, in human history and in our daily lives. She is the woman of prayer and work in Nazareth, and she is also Our Lady of Help, who sets out from her town "with haste" (Lk 1:39) to be of service to others. This interplay of justice and tenderness, of contemplation and concern for others, is what makes the ecclesial community look to Mary as a model of evangelization. We implore her maternal intercession that the Church may become a home for many peoples, a mother for all peoples, and that the way may be opened to the birth of a new world. It is the Risen Christ who tells us, with a power that fills us with confidence and unshakeable hope: "Behold, I make all things new" (Rev 21:5). With Mary we advance confidently towards the fulfilment of this promise….


How Do We Welcome the Tenderness of God?
Nativity
, Pope Francis, Dec 25, 2014  -Full text
See also his talk to priests on Mercy and Closeness

"This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger" (Lk 2:12). The "sign" is in fact the humility of God, the humility of God taken to the extreme; it is the love with which, that night, he assumed our frailty, our suffering, our anxieties, our desires and our limitations. The message that everyone was expecting, that everyone was searching for in the depths of their souls, was none other than the tenderness of God: God who looks upon us with eyes full of love, who accepts our poverty, God who is in love with our smallness.

On this holy night, while we contemplate the Infant Jesus just born and placed in the manger, we are invited to reflect. How do we welcome the tenderness of God? Do I allow myself to be taken up by God, to be embraced by him, or do I prevent him from drawing close? We could respond: "But I am searching for the Lord". Nevertheless, what is most important is not seeking him, but rather allowing him to seek me, find me and caress me with tenderness. The question put to us simply by the Infant’s presence is: do I allow God to love me?

More so, do we have the courage to welcome with tenderness the difficulties and problems of those who are near to us, or do we prefer impersonal solutions, perhaps effective but devoid of the warmth of the Gospel? How much the world needs tenderness today! The patience of God, the closeness of God, the tenderness of God.

The Christian response cannot be different from God’s response to our smallness. Life must be met with goodness, with meekness. When we realize that God is in love with our smallness, that he made himself small in order to better encounter us, we cannot help but open our hearts to him, and beseech him: "Lord, help me to be like you, give me the grace of tenderness in the most difficult circumstances of life, give me the grace of closeness in the face of every need, of meekness in every conflict".

Dear brothers and sisters, on this holy night we contemplate the Nativity scene: there "the people who walked in darkness have seen a great light" (Is 9:1). People who were unassuming, people open to receiving the gift of God, were the ones who saw this light. This light was not seen, however, by the arrogant, the proud, by those who made laws according to their own personal measures, who were closed off to others. Let us look to the crib and pray, asking the Blessed Mother: "O Mary, show us Jesus!".

Love Crucified Logo